Squirrels

As a kid, whenever i would goto my hometown, i would have a very interesting thing to do in the mornings. After breakfast i would head straight to the gardens to see squirrels running up and down the trees..I would surprise them and chase them but would never be able to catch them. With beautiful bodies and big eyes, squirrels are one of the most beautiful animals found in rural india. i would be so much intrigued by their beauty and keep chasing them on and on.In my fun, i acquired my first athletic training running barefoot on the grounds chasing squirrels which bore me fruits when i started my schooling.................When i moved to the city first time (in my memory,i was born in a city as a matter of fact), although there were squirrels, i would not chase them................i would find them unhealthy and emaciated in the cities........

after so many years i wonder....was it beauty that attracted me? was it their speed? or was it that i had so much of time spare at my hands that i could engage in such a fun pursuit ? or was it because of my childhood that i would have engaged in one fun or the other without being adjudged of propriety of behavior at that time?

As a woman i want to move unfettered, without the pressures of proving myself to anyone, without the worries of pleasing anyone and without the dangers of being pryed upon by anyone................ Do i have to close the doors of my mind to achieve that ? Become oblivious to everybody else? or just do what i like in this world?

I very often find myself passing in the oblivion and then coming back into this world..is it same with all the women in this world? I do not know. Maybe for few oblivion is luxury......Maybe for some oblivion is habit......For me its a break and journey into myself............